Insane Days Require Practical Steps: Connection is the Key
As an empath I often feel the pain and suffering of people quite literally in my gut. For me, the past few weeks have been unusually rough partly due to dear friend who had been struggling with severe depression (I didn’t really know), partly due to the headlines of two high profiled celebrity suicides (who seemingly had it all), and partly due to the horrific actions of our current administration who have been deliberately separating children from their families at the border. Of course, there is so much else going on, and all in all the energy of despair and fear is palpable and for good reason — these are seemingly dark times.
Like many of you, I find myself digging deep and tapping into resources and tools that help me to try and make sense of the insanity. I have many clients and friends reaching out and asking how to best manage their own grief and despair and for actionable things to do.
As a result, my intuition kept pointing me to what I have learned about emergence theory and the power of connection. Over the years I have had the privilege of studying with some of the best systems change thinkers and practitioners on the planet. In one organization, I had the unique experience of implementing a theory of change rooted in the Lifecycle of Emergence. This theory inspired by the work of Meg Wheatley and Deborah Frieze focuses on the power of connected networks to create social change. Deborah also teaches about a two loops model that helped me better understand that when one system culminates and starts to collapse, isolated alternatives slowly begin to arise and give way to the new. It is clear that many of our systems are collapsing which in some ways gives us hope for all the new that is emerging.
More recently, I have been digesting the insightful book Emergent Strategywritten by a dear colleague and friend, Adrienne Marie Brown. In her book, Adrienne shares, “emergence is another way of speaking about the connective tissue of all that exists. It emphasizes critical connections over critical mass, building authentic relationships, listening with all the senses of the body and the mind. Emergent strategy is how we intentionally change in ways that grow our capacity to embody the just and liberated worlds we long for.”
Admittedly, emergence is big heady concept and I don’t claim to be an expert in it. However, I can feel the invitation and simplicity of the underlying thread of connection that runs throughout. And I know deep in my bones, that the most important thing that we can do as human beings right this very minute is to strengthen our connections.
More specifically our:
Connection to Ourselves: Whatever your belief is whether, god/des, universe, buddha or your higher self, when we take time to draw upon our spiritual connection we are reminded of our interconnectedness. From that place we can act with more compassion and love. I am not referring to romantic love, rather the type of love that is fierce and can catalyze and mobilize us towards the things we most care about.
Connection to Others: Researcher (and one of my sheros), Brene Brown shared in a recent interview, “a deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” It is clear, we need each other to do this work called life.
Connection with Nature: When we spend time in nature and consciously connect with it, nature can become a spiritual path. We are reminded that nature is not just a collection of trees and rocks and animals but is a presence unto herself and we are a part of it. Moreover, nature’s time-tested patterns and strategies are already providing us with much of the solutions to many of the eco-challenges we are facing. Nature’s wisdom has deep roots.
I encourage you to spend some time today taking one of these practical steps and then notice the shift within. How did the connection make you feel? What if any, inspiration did you glean? What is different?
As we continue to build the inner capacities necessary to meet these times, I am filled with a tremendous amount of hope and gratitude knowing that we are connected all along the journey.