Arriving at an Intersection with Practical Feet

For as long as I can remember, I have always been the girl who gets it done. Whether making my lunch for school at age 6 or running multimillion dollar social mission organizations at 50, I am the one you call. Need a work plan with all the practical steps to implement it — look no further.

Another part of me has been a spiritual seeker for well over 30 years. Studying with mystical teachers, assisting a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor to publish his first book, seeking out a range of alternative practitioners from psychic surgeons to reiki masters to cranial sacral therapists and someone who has actively avoided mixing business with this passion, until now. I have arrived at an intersection and I can no longer walk these roads separately. Today, I present my whole self with these beautifully worn, practical feet on one singular and purposeful path.

Over time, I have carefully constructed a life where most people know me as an executive leader, some know that I have a passion for the healing arts and a few know that I am now needing to answer a call that has been ringing in my ears long before cell phones were a thing. That whisper has grown louder and louder every day until one day, last February, standing on the shores of Sonoma County I decided to answer and as a result, over the past months a new chapter has begun to unfold.

For the past five years, I have been running a successful nonprofit. Although, on the outside I appeared to be quite happy doing so, one day I noticed that I was beginning to sense burn out settling in. Something in me was not connecting. Tired and somewhat curious, I decided to take a self-directed silent retreat to rest and gain some clarity. I knew I wanted to be near water, free of all electronics with plenty of time to write, reflect and consider next steps. True to form, I started researching options and developed a plan to support the time and my needs. On a whim I investigated a hotel that had always been out of my price range and to my surprise, they were undergoing renovations which meant it was now affordable. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a lovely woman who upgraded me to a suite and informed me that I was staying on ancient indigenous land that had healing routes that went back for centuries. A serendipitous start, indeed.

Once in my room, I began to write and write and write. I let the words and with them, my tears, flow for what seemed to be hours. While doing this, I kept hearing an inner voice say, “go to the beach.” And, while I was intentional about locating myself near the ocean, I wasn’t up for heading out into the torrential downpour that was happening outside my window. I stayed in that evening, writing and napping by a warm fire. Eventually I stirred in the middle of the night to that nagging voice that started to get a bit louder, “Go to the beach!” it said as I drifted back into a fitful slumber.

In the morning I woke up with rain pounding down so hard that I couldn’t see in front of me and yet the voice, now booming, said “GO TO THE BEACH!” So, I bundled up as best I could, hopped into my car and drove with my windshield wipers going as fast as they possibly can to the very cold, wet and desolate beach.

As I began walking, breathing in the ocean air, I was quickly swept up with waves of emotions that mirrored the crashing swells in front of me. I couldn’t identify the specific feelings just that there was so many to unfold, building and flooding me to the point that I began to scream. And, scream I did for hours. The guttural sounds that arose from deep inside surprised me. Then came the tears which mixed with the rain soaking me to my bones and yet, still I paced on the wet sand. This went on for quite some time until I started to feel lightheaded and dropped to the ground. I sat there, grateful no one was there to witness what just happened because I was sure any sane person would have thought I was crazy — yelling at the waves. My head was swirling, and I could barely catch my breath when suddenly I heard that inner voice again. This time it posed the question, “Are you ready? Are you going to answer the call?” Uh, what call, I thought. “You are a healer.” Uh, no. No thank you. I don’t think so. More time passed, and the voice grew louder, “Are you going to answer the call, you are meant to do this work.” No. Nope. No way. I can’t, I won’t. More time passes, more rain comes, more tears flow. The voice, now bellows, “You are a healer, will you answer the call?” I don’t know if it was just pure exhaustion or just being cold and waterlogged but at that very moment, I consciously surrendered and said the simple three lettered word — YES. And with that, an electric current ran up and down my spine which felt like a chiropractic adjustment on steroids. The exhaustion faded, and my body filled with a warm glow and limitless energy.

Intuitively I knew that I had to take the next steps towards my purpose. First, as with all things, I designed a plan to step away from my leadership role. Of course, this included giving the organization plenty of notice and lots of recommendations and allowing for me a little cushion to dive into what doing this work would look like. The past ten months on this journey have been filled with many twists and turns and so much learning. I am building my toolkit and drawing upon the skills and resources that I have gleaned to be of service to that inner voice. I am walking this spiritual path putting one foot in front of the other and taking the practical steps to live my life on purpose as a healer in business.

I am committed to this journey and invite you to come along side. Is fear stopping you from answering your call? What practical steps can you take today to move towards what you most desire? Let’s walk together, step by step and get it done! The world needs our whole selves now more than ever.